Racoons are cute, right?!

You have to admit - racoons are cute, right? Kind of a cross between a fuzzy koala bear and a bandit faced panda, but coons are THIEVES!  Food containment when camping is an issue with these pesky little critters nearby.  After a recent trip to Florida I started feeling like the score was Tanis 0, coons 3!

The first time I took my current boyfriend camping back in Michigan, where I grew up, we were ground tent camping from our truck. Back in those days we used plastic tubs with snap tops. As we were tidying up camp for the night, he asked “Are there any critters around that necessitate storing our food bins in the truck or can we leave them under the picnic table bench?” Now normally I’m a pretty smart individual, but I admit I lack common sense at times, more often than I care to admit.  I replied,  “I think we’re good here.”  I mean, come on, what critter would want soup cans and rice packets. Well, you guessed  it.  The silence of the night was interrupted by unidentifiable sounds. Uh-oh! We whipped out our flashlights to unzip the tent. Scanning the perimeter of our site, we stop on a tree. Fifteen feet in the air, hugging the tree and a can of Pringles was a big, fat coon. As our eyes connected with his he flipped off the plastic lid, punctured the foil with his claw, and began devouring our chips one clawful at time. “You shithead,” I yell as I launch out of the tent. He didn’t even move, just continued to crunch one chip at a time as he stared at us. Yes, I forgot about the Pringles, bread, and trail mix in the camp box!  We found the half consumed bread, but the trail mix was missing. The glistening morning sun revealed shiny specks of packaging in the campground, but not a single M&M anywhere.  Hmmm, did he share it with his buddies?!  Did his cholesterol skyrocket?

Then a few years back we were on our lap around North America in Tooly our Tundra with a rooftop tent and that coon was there again. Yes, it was the same coon or at least a relative. And yes, again we were enjoying a night of slumber. We were older and wiser, lol, so our food was in the truck. The tent sits on the truck bed rack so that one window is directly behind and level with the cab roof. You could stick your hand out that window and touch the cab roof.  This time wrestling in the woods awakens us. It turns into pitter patter on the truck. Sitting up as Brian starts to unzip the inside canvas on the window, foggily I think “It’s just rain.” But as his flashlight met two squinty, black eyes six inches from his surprised, large hazel eyes, there was a SCREAM. Was it Brian, was it the coon? YES! I about peed my jammies. 

On our recent camping trip to Florida, still with our truck and rooftop tent, but using fully latched Bauer boxes, of course we are older and wiser. The weather was a bit chilly for camping, but we were making the best of it and had spent the day kayaking so we had earned the sweet treats we brought for dessert.  That evening, we were cozied up to our campfire with hats and mittens. Brian headed to the loo and I grabbed the cookies and Snicker bits from the dry box. After putting them on the picnic table I remembered I needed something from the truck.  The picnic table was on the passenger side of the truck, so I walked around to the driver side to grab my neck light. This 30 second distraction cost us our bag of snickers - dam coons! Or did it? Being older now means questioning your senility so maybe I only grabbed the cookies. Or maybe Brian grabbed the Snickers on his way to the loo - you never know when the craving might grab you. “Do you have the Snickers?”  I asked him accusingly when he returned. “What? No!” he responded. “Well guess who does!” I said. At least they didn’t have time to snatch the cookies too. The next morning we watched the campground host perform his usual tasks which included opening the lid on the large green dumpster, putting a 2x4 into the hole and calmly saying, “Ok now, come on out of there.”  Fatter than when they went in the night before, because of our Snickers, rambles out a family of coons. Well, I can think of another plank I’d like those coons to walk!!!

Now, definitely much older and wiser, we’ve decided what our truck really needs is a trailer to pull with a kitchen that has proper food storage, damn coons! 😅