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Never pass up a chance to pee!

Updated: Oct 8, 2021

Where do I get cash? Which train platform? Where’s the bathroom? I’m hungry! The first 24-48 hours in a new place can be intimidating. Number one rule - never pass up a chance to pee. Number two rule - always carry toilet paper in your bag. You never know what the situation will be when you finally find a bathroom! Note - many places require some pocket change to use the restroom and are guarded by a large individual who doesn’t care how badly you have to pee and won’t let you in on just a smile.

Heading south on an evening train from Split, Croatia to the beautiful Plitvice Lakes National Park (pic) we were in desperate need of a restroom when we got off the train. It was dark, few people around, but there she was - our intimidating bathroom attendant. I think her name tag said “Helga!” We didn’t have any Croatian change on us, but really had to go. She scoffed at our attempts to offer Euros and U.S. quarters. Finally after performing the “I gotta pee now, legs crossed dance” the attendant let me use the facilities using Euros, but demanded twice the original amount required. My boyfriend had graciously let me go first using our last Euros. When it was his turn and he offered U.S. quarters, Helga lifted herself off her stool, stood blocking the doorway, and shook her head “no”.

Always envious of how men can pee just about anywhere, I thought the solution was simple. Just walk down the tracks a bit and pee in the darkness, but being polite, modest, and law-abiding, that was not an option for him. So... we got into a cab for the twenty minute ride to our hotel. The check-in clerk was the bartender as we entered the hotels and in the midst of the loud music was a group of karaoke singing men, left arms intertwined, right arms holding up a beer! We were escorted to our room decorated entirely in silver and purple? Love it! Of course, all my boyfriend was looking for was...the bathroom.

Moral of the story - NEVER pass up a chance to pee and on that note here’s a website I found that compares all sorts of female urination funnels. As my 50+ year old body is finding out, these are a welcome change to avoid squatting and then “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

Happy peeing!

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